Forgive me for the title. I’m an 80s kid and couldn’t resist. 😃
Cancer isn’t funny. It sucks. However, thinking you might have cancer, or are fighting cancer, sometimes having a dark sense of humor comes in handy. That’s how I’ve tried to handle things since starting down this road to finding out what the hell is in my boob.
Last Friday morning, I took a step closer to solving this mystery of “That Odd Tentacle Thing in My Left Breast.”
First off, I’m wheeled down to Radiology to get another mammogram, so my doc can insert a wire in my breast to surround the questionable area. This will help the surgeon to take out enough tissue to be tested.
Ah… the lovely Boob Smashing Machine.
Dr. G and her assistant prepped me by inserting a numbing shot. “A prick and then a little burning,” Dr. G said.
A little burning? I could feel my eyes water as I inhaled deeply as what felt like FIRE enter my breast! Thankfully, the burning passed quickly. A young 20 something tech smiled at me emphatically as I winced.
“Now we’re going to insert the wire. Look straight ahead,” Dr. G gently warned me. No problem – I have zero desire to look at myself turning into Frankenboob.
After a few minutes, the procedure was done. The extra wire poking out of me was taped to my upper chest (I’m still numbed up), gauze packed on my underside area, and I was whisked away to surgery.
On my way to surgery, we passed my hubby in the waiting room.
He kissed me. “I love you. It’s going to be all right,” he half whispered. “I’ll be here when you wake up. ”
After the nurses began inserting an IV, getting additional info from me, and taking vitals, the anesthesiologist gave me a pill to prevent nausea. “I’ll get your medicine to make you sleepy; I’ll be right back,” she gently touched my shoulder.
For the first time since checking in, I was alone. Suddenly, the room felt too big, this whole thing felt like too much. I wanted to leave. My hands began sweating.
WHAT IF YOU HAVE CANCER?
No, I thought. You’re not going to do that. You’re not going to let IT win. If I do have IT, then I’m fighting. All The Way. You’re not going to let the Fear or Cancer take over your life, I swore to myself.
After the drugs were administered, I didn’t give a damn what happened. I was floating in bliss. Then, the oxygen mask was placed on my face. “Take a few deep breaths for me. There you go. Take another.”
“Melanie!” I heard a woman’s voice, followed by patting of my cheeks. “Melanie, wake up. ”
I open my eyes. “You did great,” the nurse smiled. “It’s all done. ” That felt like 5 minutes!
It’s been a few days since the surgery. My poor boob looks like Mike Tyson used it as a punching bag, and it aches. No weights over 15 lbs, no bathing or hot tubs, and no raising my left arm over my head for a couple of weeks. By the way – I didn’t realize how much I used my left arm until I couldn’t raise it!
The doc said I should know the results in about a week’s time, but unlike the first Biopsy, I’m ready for whatever result will happen. In that surgery prep area, I killed off the What If. I am not afraid.
If Cancer is what I’m facing, then Cancer better strap in for a helluva fight! I’ll be ready to whip some ass.
Love, laughter, and shoes-